Living The Dream

Sometimes I forget, but in at least in one sense I am 'living the dream'. For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM), just like my Mom. I would ALWAYS 'be the Mom' when I played pretend as a kid. I remember in high school, feeling like guidance counselling wasn't for me since I didn't NEED post secondary education - I just needed a family... In a way it is the one profession that is over-looked and under-valued by people in many aspects of society.

I know that my rush to have a family did lead me to make a lot of mistakes. I would fall too far into relationships too quick. At the time I REALLY did think that 'he' was the one... And time and time again 'he' would SO not be the one. Finding that out always seemed to be a terrible and painful lesson. Some more painful than others.

My DS1 was a part of one of those lessons. Even after he was born I thought I could make things work with his Dad so that I could have my family. Two weeks before I was to move to another city with him - he 'changed his mind'. Having already given up my job, and apartment - I was stuck. I spent 30 long, gruelling, terrible, eye-opening days in a women's shelter. During that time I found a job as a school bus driver, and a tiny apartment out of town. It wasn't my dream - but I was starting to feel close. I had started to take my faith seriously. I had FINALLY figured out that it was important. If I was going to achieve what I believed was God's plan for me - I was going to have to do it HIS way.

I was just starting to feel like my life was on track - and was settling down into a routine. Something happened - the details of which I won't discuss now - which resulted in my having to move. This time the Church rallied together and helped me and my son financially, emotionally, and tangibly. During this time the Church connected me to a small study group. In that group was the man I was going to marry. I didn't know it at first - the more my future DH and I got to know each other, the more I wanted to know...

He is from a close knit farm family, and family is very important to him. From a farming perspective - he loves nature, and respects it. He is sensitive, caring, and responsible. If he has a flaw - it would be the same as mine - in that he needs to learn things by experiencing them. IT DRIVES ME NUTS!!! He respects my desire to stay home to look after our family. We were married a year after we started dating. The only times I have EVER wondered if that was too quick has been in terms of the finances of my DH finishing his Masters, and supporting the family at the same time. It does get tough, and feels defeating at times, but I would not trade our life together, or the two children we have had since being married - for the world.

The times I get discouraged, and run down I need to focus on my family, and my place in it as the SAHM. My dream job!